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Regardless, the assumption that people should be awarded dates according to how nice they are, with good people getting many and jerks getting very few, simply doesn’t reflect how dating works. Sometimes, nice people struggle with their love lives. This may seem unfair, but the whole concept of fairness is irrelevant when personal choices are concerned.Stories of friends who get together can be sweet, and unrequited crushes on friends are always painful, but there are plenty of valid reasons not to date a friend.At the time, I wasn’t well versed in what a self-identified “nice guy” (also sometimes known in feminist circles as Nice Guys™) actually was: someone who feels entitled to women for his supposed kindness.behavior– which is based on one’s sense of superiority stemming from one’s “nice guy” status and usually accompanied by indignation when women reject the “nice guy” – is actually a telltale sign that someone is not nice.More often, they’re saying “women like bad boys” to discount other reasons women might pass them up.Accusing women of rejecting them just because they’re not jerks is a convenient way for them not to examine themselves.

Suzannah Weiss is a New York-based writer whose work has appeared in The Washington Post, Salon, Seventeen, Buzzfeed, The Huffington Post, Bustle, and more.contains hints of misogyny because it stems from the stereotype that women want to be dominated and controlled.While some women may date men who are domineering because our culture prescribes that this is what they should want, “nice guys” often make this accusation against women who aren’t seeking out jerks.He’d rather make sure you feel safe than make sure he feels desired.And when he is desired, your desire will be genuine, not something forced out of you by manipulative lies.

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